The Role of Forgiveness in Trauma Recovery
Trauma has a profound impact on the heart, mind, and spirit. When we experience deep wounds, whether from childhood, relationships, or even the church, it can feel impossible to move forward. Many people struggling with trauma find themselves caught in a cycle of pain, bitterness, and emotional strongholds. But as Christians, we are called to something radical: forgiveness.
Forgiveness is not about minimizing the pain or justifying the wrongs committed against us. Instead, it is about releasing the burden of resentment and allowing God to heal the wounds that keep us bound. True healing cannot happen while we remain in the prison of unforgiveness.
Understanding Trauma Through the W-L-V-S Model
Dr. Marcus Warner describes trauma recovery using the WLVS model:
Wounds – The deep emotional and psychological injuries caused by past hurts.
Lies – The false beliefs we adopt about ourselves, others, or God because of those wounds.
Vows – The inner promises we make to protect ourselves from future pain (e.g., "I will never trust anyone again").
Strongholds – The spiritual and emotional chains that keep us stuck, often fueled by bitterness and unforgiveness.
Forgiveness is a crucial part of breaking strongholds and releasing the lies and vows that have shaped our responses to pain. Without forgiveness, our wounds fester, reinforcing the lies and keeping us trapped in these unhealthy patterns.
What the Bible Says About Forgiveness and Healing
Scripture is clear about the power and necessity of forgiveness:
Ephesians 4:31-32 – "Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
Colossians 3:13 – "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."
Matthew 6:14-15 – "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."
Forgiveness is not optional—it is a direction from God– central to the Christian life. But how do we forgive when the pain feels unbearable?
A Guided Meditation: Entering the Dungeon of Your Heart
One powerful way to engage in the process of forgiveness is through a guided meditation. This imagery exercise helps bring the pain to Jesus so that He can carry it instead of you.
Finding the Offender in the Dungeon of Your Heart
Close your eyes.
Focus on your breath—slow and steady. Inhale deeply… and exhale, letting it all out. Feel the air fill your lungs, and then release it, soft and slow.
Now, in your mind, picture a door in front of you. It is strong, solid, heavy. This door leads deep into your heart. Place your hand on the handle. As you begin to open it, hear the creaking sound echoing in the silence.
Beyond the door, a staircase descends into darkness. Step down, one foot at a time. The air grows damp, thick with an old, musty scent. The deeper you go, the heavier it feels, wrapping around you like a dense fog.
Ahead, a dimly lit hallway stretches into the shadows. Lining the walls are individual cellars, each holding something—someone—from your past. You walk forward, feeling the weight of unspoken words, of wounds long buried.
Then, you stop.
You have found the one you need to forgive.
Your fingers brush against the ring of keys at your side. Lifting them, you fumble through, searching for the one that will unlock this door. Finally, you find it. The key slides in, turns with a click. The door groans as it swings open.
Take a breath.
Look at them. Notice their face. Their body language. Are they afraid? Relieved? Hesitant? You steady yourself and speak gently.
"You are being released today."
They are clothed in a tattered, dingy coat—moist with filth, worn from years of neglect. The stench of hurt and regret clings to it. A box sits nearby, waiting.
And now, piece by piece, the burden is lifted.
With each confession, you strip away the rags.
"Dear God, today I choose to forgive them for ___."
One by one, you name the transgressions. One by one, the torn fabric falls away. With every word spoken, the weight lessens.
And when the coat is gone, they stand before you—raw, exposed, ready.
Nearby, a white garment hangs, fresh and clean. You take it and gently place it on their shoulders. See how it transforms them—how they stand taller, how light begins to return to their face.
It is time.
You pick up the box of sins, carrying it as you lead them forward. Step by step, you walk together through the corridor, toward the light that spills down from above.
Up the first staircase.
Then another.
With each step, warmth replaces the cold. The air is lighter now. And then—you see Him.
Jesus.
His hand is outstretched, waiting. You take the hand of the one you have forgiven and place it in His.
"They are Yours now, Lord. Their debt is Yours to settle, not mine."
With peace in your heart, you set the box down at His feet. You leave it there, knowing you don’t have to carry it anymore. The pain, the suffering, the weight—it is no longer yours to hold.
And as you descend the steps back into your life, you feel it—freedom.
Forgiveness belongs to you.
Forgiveness belongs to them.
And now, you are free.
A Prayer for Forgiveness
Heavenly Father,
I come before You, weary from carrying the weight of this hurt. You know the wounds I bear, the pain that lingers, and the struggle I face in forgiving those who have wronged me.
Lord, I confess that I have held onto bitterness, anger, and resentment. I no longer want to live in the prison of unforgiveness. Today, I choose to surrender this hurt to You.
I release [Enter Name] into Your hands. They do not belong in the dungeon of my heart—they belong in Your care. I trust You to deal with them as You see fit. I choose to let go, not because they deserve it, but because I refuse to let this pain define me any longer.
Father, heal my heart. Replace the lies with Your truth. Break the vows I made in my pain. Tear down the strongholds that have kept me bound. Fill me with Your peace and restore my joy.
In Jesus' name, Amen.
The Fruits of Forgiveness
Forgiveness is not a one-time event but a process. You may need to revisit the dungeon multiple times before you feel fully free. But as you continue to release the offender to Jesus, you will notice a change:
You will experience peace instead of bitterness. (Philippians 4:7)
You will feel lighter, no longer burdened by the past. (Matthew 11:28-30)
Your relationships will begin to heal. (Romans 12:18)
You will grow in spiritual strength. (Isaiah 40:31)
Forgiveness does not mean forgetting or allowing harmful people back into your life. It means breaking the chains that tie you to pain and choosing to live in the freedom Christ offers. It means that Christ collects on the debt of their sins, not you.
Seeking Help on Your Forgiveness Journey
Forgiveness is challenging, especially when trauma is involved. You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Seeking therapy with a Christian counselor can provide guidance, support, and Biblical wisdom as you process your pain.
If you are struggling with deep wounds and need a safe place to heal, I invite you to reach out. As a Christian therapist, I specialize in helping individuals find freedom from trauma, anxiety, and unforgiveness. You were not meant to carry this burden alone—let’s walk this path together.
You are loved. You are seen. And you are called to live in the fullness of Christ’s healing