Spiritual Bypassing: Why Ignoring Your Pain Isn’t the Same as Trusting God
If you’ve been around Christians for any length of time, you’ve probably heard some version of “let go and let God” as you poured out your struggles. While this statement holds truth, there is also an underlying dismissive nature as these phrases become a subtle way believers dismiss deep emotions and push into toxic positivity. By doing so, believers create a space of escaping and avoiding true emotions. This phenomenon, known as spiritual bypassing, can hinder our emotional and spiritual growth.
What is Spiritual Bypassing?
Spiritual bypassing occurs when people use spiritual beliefs, practices, or ideologies to avoid dealing with unresolved emotional issues, trauma, or difficult life situations. Instead of working through pain, grief, or anger, a person might adopt a posture of premature forgiveness, optimism, or “positive thinking” that essentially bypasses the necessary healing process.
In Christian circles, this can look like using faith to deny emotional pain, dismissing the need for professional help, or oversimplifying complex emotional struggles with spiritual remarks. The heart behind these responses may be sincere, but the effects can be damaging.
Ignoring Pain Isn’t the Same as Trusting God
Trusting God doesn’t mean pretending everything is okay when it’s not. One of the greatest misunderstandings in the church is that faith somehow erases the need to feel or process hurts and pain. God created us as holistic beings—physical, emotional, and spiritual. Ignoring one aspect of our humanity in the name of spirituality actually diminishes our capacity to grow in Christ.
Trusting God with your pain means inviting Him into the brokenness, not pushing it aside. It’s about allowing His presence to walk you through the valleys of grief, anxiety, or trauma while acknowledging that healing is a journey. The Psalms are full of examples where David expressed his raw emotions—anger, sadness, confusion—yet he still trusted God with those feelings. His faith wasn’t in ignoring his pain, but in taking it directly to the Lord.
Why Spiritual Bypassing Is Harmful
Spiritual bypassing can be harmful for several reasons:
It Hinders Emotional Healing: When we use faith to dismiss real emotional pain, we create a barrier to true healing. By avoiding the pain, we never allow ourselves to process it in a healthy way, which often leads to unresolved issues resurfacing later in harmful ways.
It Creates a Superficial Faith: Bypassing emotions in the name of faith can create a shallow relationship with God. Instead of growing through struggles, we might end up hiding behind spiritual rhetoric, missing out on the deeper intimacy that comes from relying on God to heal our raw exposed wounds.
It Shames Others: When we offer overly simplistic spiritual advice to others who are in pain—such as "just pray more" or "have more faith"—we inadvertently shame them for having emotional struggles. This can make people feel spiritually inadequate or isolated in their pain.
It Undermines Our Humanity: Emotions like sadness, anger, and fear are part of the human experience. Dismissing them with spiritual jargon can cause us to lose touch with our true selves. God doesn’t ask us to be emotionally numb; He invites us to be vulnerable in His presence, trusting that He meets us where we are.
Biblical Examples of Trusting God Through Pain
The Bible provides numerous examples of people who trusted God while fully embracing their emotions:
Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane: Before His crucifixion, Jesus was deeply troubled and overwhelmed with sorrow. Instead of bypassing His emotional distress, He poured out His heart to the Father, asking for the cup to pass from Him but ultimately surrendering to God’s will (Matthew 26:36-39).
Job: Job suffered unimaginable losses, and instead of brushing off his grief, he openly expressed his anguish. Yet, in his pain, he continued to trust God, wrestling with his suffering while maintaining his faith.
The Psalms: David’s psalms are raw, emotional prayers that demonstrate how we can bring our full range of emotions to God without fear of rejection. In Psalm 34:18, we are reminded, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
How to Avoid Spiritual Bypassing and Embrace Authentic Healing
To avoid the trap of spiritual bypassing, it’s important to practice authentic faith—one that embraces both the joy and the pain of life. Here are a few ways to do that:
Acknowledge Your Pain: It's okay to admit when you're hurting. Ignoring pain won’t make it go away. Instead, take time to acknowledge what you're feeling. God already knows, and He invites you to bring your burdens to Him (1 Peter 5:7).
Seek Healing in Community: The body of Christ is meant to bear one another's burdens (Galatians 6:2). Sometimes, this means being vulnerable with trusted friends, a pastor, or a therapist who can help you process your emotions in light of God’s truth.
Pray Honestly: Your prayers don't have to be polished or filled with religious language. Follow David’s example in the Psalms and pour out your heart honestly before God. He is strong enough to handle your questions, doubts, and pain.
Engage in Practical Healing: Prayer and scripture are foundational to healing, but sometimes God uses tangible tools like therapy, counseling, or support groups to help us work through deeper emotional struggles. Seeking help is not a lack of faith but an act of faith in God's holistic care.
Diving into True Faith in God
Faith is not about escaping pain, but about trusting God to meet you in it. Ignoring your pain isn’t the same as trusting God; in fact, it limits the depth of the healing and transformation He offers. True trust comes from inviting God into the messy, painful parts of life, knowing that His grace is sufficient and that His presence will carry you through every trial. Don’t bypass the process of healing—embrace it, knowing that God walks with you every step of the way.